| Live with any breed of dog long enough and you'll | | | | a big chef's knife. And I mean BIG. Even the dogs |
| come to realize what a quick study a dog can be | | | | couldn't watch this attempt: Paws flew over eyes as |
| when it comes to knowing your vulnerabilities. | | | | the knife started wobbling against the tough hide of |
| Personally, the pitiful look on a dog's face when it's | | | | the plastic container. This wasn't going to work, |
| time to be fed (made worse when dinner time is | | | | either, and I scanned the kitchen. A screw driver |
| late) is mine. Mind you, at some level I know full well | | | | didn't penetrate the bottle. Neither did an ice pick. |
| that much of these pitiful expressions is acting at its | | | | And for future reference, ice picks, when missing |
| finest. I know this because I've caught my dogs | | | | their target, embed surprisingly deep into Formica. |
| practicing woefully long faces in front of the mirror | | | | Clearly the instrument I would need was not to be |
| and to each other. They think I don't know this. | | | | found in a kitchen. |
| Still, even I can appreciate real hunger, and when | | | | I briefly considered an acetylene torch which, |
| dinner is long overdue because of a hold up in traffic | | | | admittedly would have been overkill. But haven't you |
| or at the office, I feel bad. On this occasion, I was a | | | | ever wanted to set fire to something that was |
| good couple of hours late for dinner and scrambled in | | | | frustrating you? Wire cutters finally did the trick but |
| the door in a rush to gather up food bowls; That's | | | | it took twenty minutes of wrestling with the |
| when I realized there wasn't a clean one in the house. | | | | container bottle before I found a point of entry. In |
| The dishwasher was full of dirty dishes, including all | | | | the end, the floor, the counter tops, my hair, the |
| the dog bowls - and I was not only down to the last | | | | dogs' hair and the walls were splattered with blue |
| drop of dishwasher detergent, but was totally out of | | | | dishwasher gunk, but I'd done it. Using a spatula to |
| any kind of dishwashing soap at all. I did what I had | | | | coax the goo off the inside of the bottle, there |
| to do. | | | | WAS enough for one more load. What waste, I |
| As much as I like using liquid detergent in my | | | | thought. All the dishwasher detergent we throw out |
| dishwasher, it's tough to get every last drop out of a | | | | every day because of a presumably empty bottle. |
| huge Costco-sized plastic container large enough to | | | | In sharing this story, disbelieving friends have asked |
| hold fuel for back hoe. Still, I had convinced myself | | | | me why I didn't simply put water in the bottle, swish |
| that there HAD to be enough left for one more load. | | | | it around and empty it into the dishwasher. That's like |
| It was nighttime, now, and my dogs' stomach | | | | asking the average man why he didn't ask for |
| rumblings audible, surgery was performed on a | | | | directions before finding himself 42 miles off course |
| container of Cascade to get the last dregs out. | | | | from where he needed to go. But honestly, it hadn't |
| My dogs are normally impatient to eat, but they | | | | occurred to me. Maybe, my herculean effort to |
| watched with rapt attention as I approached the | | | | extricate enough soap for ONE MORE load of dishes |
| huge green Cascade container with a tiny serrated | | | | was my version of the guy who doesn't read or ask |
| knife. Watching their owner cut off her own limb, | | | | for directions. |
| now this was entertaining. And I ultimately concurred | | | | Ultimately, my dogs were fed and I learned that for |
| with their logic. This tiny knife was not up to the | | | | the person who wants to get every last bit of |
| challenge and it was quickly chucked aside in favor of | | | | dishwasher detergent, it's best to use powder. |